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BanZhang King Ripe (ha ha…) as the label reads from White2tea moving sale. As you all know by now laobanzhang or LBZ is the greatest of all puerh. All other puerh bows in its presence, which is how it got to be known as the king of puerh. First you might notice that this tea has no age, that’s cause LBZ trees are magical and can travel back and forth through time at will. No one knows exactly how old the tea is when being picked. This tea could be from a tree that doesn’t yet exist and has traveled back in time. Another possibility is that Paul, the owner of White2tea, a well known time lord and used his puerh powered tardis station to capture this mystical tea in some unknown dimension. Now that we all know a little more about LBZ its on to the tasting.

Before removing the wrapper one must make sure to put on welding goggles or very dark sunglasses to protect the eyes since the tea itself shines like the sun. Carefully removing the wrapper I pick up the cake and it fills me with powerful energy, it feels like electricity coursing through my veins. In fact I happened to be holding a light bulb in my other hand and it would light up whenever I was touching the LBZ. The tea seemed to know I was in the mood for a 10 gram session, a good sized chunk removed itself from the rest of the cake, floated in the air till it settled in my gaiwan and proceeded to separate itself into it’s individual leaves. LBZ doesn’t smell of anything in the traditional sense. Wisdom, enlightenment and intelligence are what my brain registers as I hover over my gaiwan and sniff.

I grab my kettle, pour some hot water over the tea, drain my gaiwan directly into my cup and stare into what looks like the infinite. Grabbing my cup I bring it slowly to my lips for the first sip of his majesty….Reality melts from around me, replaced by something that can not be described in any words I know. The effect is like loading the universe into a cannon, aiming at my brain and firing. Kubrick probably drank this right before writing the end of 2001. All sense of time and self are gone. I am a being of pure energy travelling the cosmos. Eventually I come to on the floor wearing nothing but my goggles, having a full grown beard and still holding my cup. The clock reads a minute later and the date is the same. Time for myself has obviously passed at a much different rate than the world around me….

Having now tried the King of all puerh I can see why it’s so sought after. It’s an experience like no other but not one to be taken lightly. I suggest all who wish to try it read this carefully and be prepared.