Oh, holy horror.
So my friend K is a sweetheart in every possible way. We were talking about tea at some point in December and she said she had this amazing tea I had to try, which, in fact, was Italian. And I was delighted, because hey – some Italian looseleaf company I had yet to hear of, awesome.
And then she brought me a bag of this.
I obviously felt like the biggest tea snob, but it was like someone telling you you had to taste the most delicious meat dish on earth, and then they drop an unskinned, smelly polecat in your lap.
So.
Hibiscus tea.
Bagged hibiscus tea.
All accompanied by this ‘Oh, this is the best thing ever!’ bounciness. It was hilarious.
But of course I decided to try it! K is awesome, if she loved it, it couldn’t be all that bad, I figured.
First of all, this is the most potent tea dye I have ever seen. I don’t know if I’ll dare look in the mirror after my first sip, for I fear my teeth will turn a deep crimson. This tea bag bleeds in the most unsavoury way possible. I swear I could paint a wall with it.
Steeped, it smells of… absolutely nothing. But it’s very, very red.
Oh man.
This is the worst tea I have had in my life. It tastes like sour blood. There’s this vile, metallic tone to it, which is disturbingly meaty, and the sourness is completely out of hand.
I am laughing so hard right now, but I have to take one more sip for science.
Okay.
Yes, still equally bad, if not worse – it tastes like sour, juiceleaky meat wrapped in paper.
What have I learned from this?
a) Tea snobbery can save lives.
b) I love my friends, maybe especially when they’re trying to kill me.
[Assassination attempt by K, Rome 2013.]
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lmao awesome
FOR SCIENCE.
this is called taking one for the team. tea team. =0)
lol!!!
The very first legitimate argument I have ever read in defense of tea snobbery and so very funny.
Thank you for the laugh. I needed that this evening!
LMAO!!
LOL
Poor you. Oh Poor you. The bad taste in tea good people can have is truly astounding.
There is some italian tea (italian blend, not italian grown, though should let you know there is for example portuguese grown tea which is quite good). I never bought it, but some metal, grey containers, cylindrical? There was a chai mix with star anise I wondered about. I have seen those for sale around, always wondered if they were any good.
nevermind, google is our friend, found the tea brand name – Blend teas
http://www.blendweb.it/IT/default.aspx
are they any good?
Oh, cteresa, I missed your comment completely last time around, but we already exchanged messages about Blend – they’re not responding to e-mails about retail locations, but I’ll keep my eyes open.
LOL, funny that I can find it more easily in Lisbon than you in Rome!
It’s SO Italian.
lmao awesome
FOR SCIENCE.
this is called taking one for the team. tea team. =0)
lol!!!
The very first legitimate argument I have ever read in defense of tea snobbery and so very funny.
Thank you for the laugh. I needed that this evening!
LMAO!!
LOL
Poor you. Oh Poor you. The bad taste in tea good people can have is truly astounding.
There is some italian tea (italian blend, not italian grown, though should let you know there is for example portuguese grown tea which is quite good). I never bought it, but some metal, grey containers, cylindrical? There was a chai mix with star anise I wondered about. I have seen those for sale around, always wondered if they were any good.
nevermind, google is our friend, found the tea brand name – Blend teas
http://www.blendweb.it/IT/default.aspx
are they any good?
Oh, cteresa, I missed your comment completely last time around, but we already exchanged messages about Blend – they’re not responding to e-mails about retail locations, but I’ll keep my eyes open.
LOL, funny that I can find it more easily in Lisbon than you in Rome!
It’s SO Italian.